Coaching tip for the coach who has clients, sponsees, mentees for several years. A nice reminder.
If you haven’t caught my video on you-tube, please read along. This post is for the individual who has several clients or sponsees or mentees, and has been coaching for a period of time now. I personally have been coaching and mentoring a dozen women at a time for over 13+ years now. Several of the women have stayed with me over this span of time. I work hard to stay ahead of the curve as far as experience is concerned. I pay attention to my growth and experiences, for they haven’t reached some of what I have – and there are experiences I haven’t had which they are growing through as I type this.
The motivation behind this post was a recent voicemail received by one of the women I have been sponsoring for 6 years I think? I say think because I always under shoot the amount of time we have worked together. It goes by fast. They like to correct me and let me know specifically how long it is. We have a way of remembering when significant help came into our life. Where we were mentally and emotionally – specifically what we were experiencing. The ladies I coach tend to be very intelligent and motivated!
Her name I will falsify for anonymity. Let’s call her Jane. Jane left a message the other day, which gently reminded me of a teaching I wanted to provide earlier in the month. Sometimes the “theme” carries across several of the women I coach, for they are at similar times in their lives. If you come from the world of recovery you will understand they are at similar phases of their recovery.
In her voicemail, she said “Susan, thank you for your voicemail the other day. Ya know, you reminded me to do something I practiced in the very beginning of us working together. Now years have passed (probably 6-7) I realized the suggestion you provided doesn’t come as easy as it used to”, (she is referring to attending a meeting to help her with her recent fears) She said it was a great solution and she is going to look at that.
My coaching tip? Well first I am going to provide some history. I have been working my program of growth for close to 17 years. I have several reflections prior to 17 years ago where I know I was growing, but 17 years ago was the time in which drugs and alcohol were removed from my life. There in lied the massive catapulting of growth I started to experience. For after the drink and the drug go away, the clarity comes much easier; not necessarily quickly in the beginning, but much easier. So, the experience she was having, I had over 10 years ago.
I have for several years been “preaching” to the ladies I mentor, the importance to their “homegroup”. Now if you are coaching clients – say spiritual clients – this might me the fellowship they find at church which they meet with weekly. Or it’s a support group they go to weekly. Or it’s a mastermind for the business person looking to grow. The point is, it’s the weekly group of people the individual meets with to keep them accountable. This participation in the group or fellowship is about meeting with people who are on the same wavelength as the individual looking to change or improve. In this case, your client. It keeps them in the herd per say. You see life happens, we get busy. The difference for the recovering addict or alcoholic is if we don’t show up to our group (homegroup) we could give in to the drink or drug. Which means if we stray it could mean worse case death, but on the way to death we take family, friends, and misery with us along the way. It’s the nature of the disease which we suffer. The normal person (non-addict, alcoholic) also has their group they associate with. If they stray they start to feel isolated, less than – excluded. Soon enough they will not be motivated to keep going. They will give up on their goals. They must put themselves in the heard if they want to progress.
HERE IS THE TIP!! With Jane, I need to speak of the importance of this weekly meet and greet with her. You see, I’ve been speaking of it for years. Over 10 to be exact, because that is when I experienced the need for this group. But it doesn’t matter if I talk it, if the other person hasn’t experience the need for it, they don’t hear the importance. They hear it when they are in it!
TIP: Coach them from they are, not from where you are. REMEMBER what it was like for you, or pull from the tool box your prior experience. It’s easy to get off track and talk about us, which by the way “us” is not for the mentee, that is for your mentor to talk with.
I’m amidst professionally learning different leadership skills as I manage 3 peoples 25 years my senior. Old beliefs, old habits, etc. How does that help Jane?
Sometimes it’s a combination of experiences to help the client, however if you are listening to your client you will pick up on where they are at mentally, emotionally, and physically and provide that specific guidance. Now, I’m done!
As always Enjoy the Journey, you only have one! You are worth it!
Susan Denee
Life coach and sponsor to women for over 13+ years.
