Have you ever desperately wanted someone to see your point of view? To agree with you? Have there been times in your life when you were absolutely aghast with someone’s inability to see the reality of a particular situation? I think we have all been there.
Every experience I have had in my life has brought me to where I stand today. Every relationship, every job, every child, every bad moment, every good moment. All of them. Therefore, my perception regarding how things should be is biased to my experience. And it is so for the other person with whom I am wanting to see things my way.
This isn’t about manipulation or coercion towards someone. This is about taking a step back and assessing the situation at hand, all parties involved, and determine what responsibility I have in presenting strong evidence to support my present position.
For example, why should a teenager understand an adult’s perception regarding overuse of technology. For they haven’t lived the consequences of being engulfed in something which steals away their time, their energy, etc. They are young and vibrant. To them, it’s not a big deal. During my teen years, it was Atari or Nintendo! Unfortunately, we couldn’t take them on the road with us, so our focused time was deliberate, however I’m sure we spent hours gaming back then. Now we are adults, and we understand a little differently based on our past experience. But why should the teenager understand this perception? For their experiences aren’t the same. It would be my role to present better evidence to them why it might be a good idea to put down the cell phone now and then.
Business is no different. Perhaps there is a challenging employee. You think the employee needs terminated, however your boss sees things differently. In your opinion, the boss is disconnected from the situation – not in the daily grind and management of the employee. Does your boss not trust your perception? Perhaps. It is up to you to convince your boss with strong evidence why this employee is more of a hindrance than a productive team member. Your boss might be bringing to the table years of experience with their own successes in managing people – albeit their perception of successes. Where you are bringing yours. Out of the two of you whomever is unhappy with the current situation needs to the table the evidence to support their position.
Preparedness, determination, and a belief you are doing the right thing will fuel successful evidence gathering. This doesn’t mean it will be easy or desirable, and it won’t contribute to our human need to have immediate satisfaction. However, it will be worth the investment. Yes, there will be times you will not get your way. You will need to tolerate the employee staying employed or tolerate your teenager continuing to bug out on technology. But you will rest assure you have presented your position to the best of your ability. This alone will help with the peace of mind we all crave in our day to day life.
Susan Denee
Life Coach
Specializing in long term recovery from addiction & alcoholism
