In the world of recovery from alcoholism and addiction we learn early on one of the contributing sources to our troubles is our unresolved expectations of ourselves and of others.\u00a0 In fact, there is a story of one of our early founders describing his serenity directly proportionate to his expectations.\u00a0 More less, the higher your expectations are, the less serenity you have.\u00a0 The lower your expectations the more serenity you have.\u00a0 This really does assist those of us in early recovery because we beat ourselves up emotionally so much due to our past behaviors, and choices.\u00a0 We are also riddled with resentment of others.\u00a0 We have to put things in a perspective which actually helps lay our ego to rest.<\/p>\n
What happens however after we have recovered from the alcoholism and addiction.\u00a0 When we have taken on a spiritual way of life?\u00a0 Or what happens to those who are not suffering from addiction recovery?\u00a0 What do we do about expectation at that point?\u00a0 Isn\u2019t there a healthy expectation which we can than create and rely on to better ourselves? Perhaps this is where goal setting takes place.<\/p>\n
Goal setting always sounds like a logical thing to do.\u00a0 I believe the majority of working folks \u2013 the 9 to 5\u2019ers don\u2019t partake in goal setting.\u00a0 I think those of use who are in this cycle (I\u2019m currently trying to break out) are subconsciously chosen victims of mundane routine.\u00a0 Yep!\u00a0 We have become so accustomed to working and sleeping we have forgotten how to create a new goal or shall we say expectation of ourselves to better ourselves to the next level.\u00a0\u00a0 So often, we set expectations which are what every one else sets.\u00a0 Diet, exercise, etc.\u00a0 However, how often do we set expectation of ourselves for our emotions?\u00a0 I must convey my significant growth in any area of my life has always had the foundation of first, getting my emotions in check, and two creating a new expectation of myself regarding my thinking about the subject.\u00a0 Here\u2019s an example of my most recent adventure with taking myself off the hook of expectation for a long long time.<\/p>\n
For me, becoming a sober person in all entirety \u2013 which means no alcohol or drugs.\u00a0 It could be argued I\u2019m not totally sober because I take in caffeine.\u00a0 But I haven\u2019t seen caffeine wreck a home, take away kids, or compromise my morals, therefore I\u2019m good with it.\u00a0 I believe I have been blessed with an intuitive ability (most times) to determine what a good sense of expectation is concerning career and passion.\u00a0 My first real job in collections I gave myself 2 years to get promoted to supervisor \u2013 it happened in 6 months.\u00a0 My second real job (where I worked when I got sober) I said I didn\u2019t even want to be promoted, I had no desire to manage people again.\u00a0 I again was promoted in 6 months (my ego couldn\u2019t say no perhaps) then I decided to focus on recovery of alcoholism.\u00a0 I made a decision to not stress about the job, the money, etc.\u00a0 I had better things to be concerned with, such as putting my life back together, raising my children, and saving a marriage that had been drug through the mud.\u00a0 So I would show up at work, do a good job and go home.\u00a0 I still gave effort, I still performed in fact I was there top producer for years.\u00a0 But I chose to lay down the expectation that I could ever do anything else.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t up for going back to school \u2013 I figured I was too old, and it cost a lot of money, and I still didn\u2019t know what I wanted to do even into my late twenties.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have a desire to do much more than what I was doing.\u00a0 Then, life changed on life’s terms.\u00a0 I was 6 years sober, and that marriage wasn\u2019t doing so hot.\u00a0 I knew I had to do some more spiritual work so I dove into the sobriety and spiritual solution for myself.\u00a0 After a year of devoting my energies to self discovery in a desperate attempt to save my marriage not only for him and me but for my girls I\u00a0 realized it wasn\u2019t going to work.\u00a0 I had to get a divorce.\u00a0 I was devastated.\u00a0 I am grateful for the work I had done however because it allowed me to walk away with dignity.\u00a0 It also provided me something I had been missing for years, which was a belief in myself \u2013 that I was worthy of all things.\u00a0 Even taking my children through a divorce.\u00a0 I cannot express enough how valuable this lesson in self worth was.\u00a0 It changed my perspective on several things.\u00a0 What I noticed was a renewed desire to try for new things.\u00a0 At that point, I wouldn\u2019t necessarily call it passion searching, but I would describe it as the initial step in throwing away the \u201cno expectation of career\u201d I had so comfortably become accustomed to.<\/p>\n
The first thing I tried was flipping houses.\u00a0 I was inspired one morning watching an info-commercial and bought into it.\u00a0 I have no regrets, I spent thousands.\u00a0 I did flip a house, made no money but got one hell of an education in real estate.\u00a0 Something nice to have in my back pocket.\u00a0 Because of the work I had done on the spiritual side of things, I had also begun to coach women in sobriety.\u00a0 In the room of recovery we call this \u201csponsoring\u201d.\u00a0 The over-achiever in me started out with 4 women in one month, then it grew to over 10.\u00a0 I currently sponsor 12 women.\u00a0 This might not sound like a lot, however I have been doing that while raising 3 daughters, and working a full time job.\u00a0 What I am getting to is my ambition or my \u201cpurpose\u201d was now growing in the service of others.\u00a0 No money being made on this, simply giving back what has been given to me.\u00a0 A valuable lesson taught in the rooms of AA.\u00a0 Something to this day I am forever grateful for.\u00a0 I cannot express the education I have received in the psychology of others, and life with this service.\u00a0 So for recap \u2013 I got divorced, got motivated to flip houses \u2013 that didn\u2019t transpire to much, and all while sponsoring several women in recovery.\u00a0 SOOOOO, where was the day job at? It was being maintained.<\/p>\n
Life is funny sometimes.\u00a0 It\u2019s the knock down, drag out moments which tend to wake us the hell up.\u00a0 For me, creating a path of passion and purpose came as result of just this.\u00a0 The company I got sober at, I was still at 14 years later \u2013 still am.\u00a0 I had an opportunity to be part owner.\u00a0 The opportunity came through a series of events, however I will tell you my instigation of this possibility was significant because I had the thought \u201cwhy don\u2019t I buy the company?\u201d while on break with a good friend one day.\u00a0 She and I both are very ambitious and if anyone knows us would say we have bigger balls than most men.\u00a0 Just sayin what they would say!\u00a0 So we agree \u2013 \u201cyeah\u201d lets put in for our interest with the owner.\u00a0 Who we had found out through a series of events was wanting to sell.\u00a0 He agreed!\u00a0 But we had to purchase with the other owner.\u00a0 The three of us would make the deal.\u00a0 Months and months went by, we negotiated, we got the contract drawn up, I inquired with an atty friend of mine, I spoke to my AA sponsor.\u00a0 We were doing this thing.\u00a0 Finally, the week we are to close, the primary owner pulls us into a meeting and tells us he has changed his mind!\u00a0 To this day I am grateful for my sobriety which forced me to gain spirituality, because even at most devastating times I have a faith in something bigger than me.\u00a0 I\u2019m grateful for my first thoughts after he said those word \u201cGods timing not mine\u201d.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 This is when the next large journey of my life began.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In the world of recovery from alcoholism and addiction we […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4433,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[114],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3619","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-goals"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n